why should i care? i don't like you

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

(via master-derpster)

littleorphanammo:

This dude was happily taking pictures of girls legs, feet and whatever else he pleased without their consent. So I snapped my own pic and said “enjoy the internet motherfucker’. He laughed at me. Plz share. #publicshame #newYork #subway

(via sailorcheesy)

thescienceofjohnlock:

humansofnewyork:

Neat moment at the Webbys last night. Fresh off the $1.1 billion sale of his company, David Karp was there with his mother, Barbara. Though I’d never met her before, Barbara came over to my seat and gave me the world’s biggest hug. She kept saying: “I am so, so proud of you.”
I said to David: “Your mom just made me feel like the most special guy in the world.”
He said: “That’s how she’s made me feel my whole life.”

This is the first David Karp post I’ve re-blogged - because of his brilliant mum. That’s how mum’s should make you feel.

(via sailorcheesy)

(via thedragongirlofgallifrey)

onlylolgifs:

Hummingbird drunk on nectar.

(via thedragongirlofgallifrey)

thedragongirlofgallifrey:

behindthestripes:

sarcasticdumpling:

whoishannahh:

destielsrainbowdick:

nocturnalvisionary:

novakian:

This guy would survive a horror movie.

This guy would survive a horror movie.

Every single time this comes up on my dash it gets funnier. Like I just fell of of my bed from laughing so hard

He fucking hit him with a lamp.

I love his freedom pants.

I love that he sacrifices his printer to escape through the window.